Closure.

First of all, Happy New Year my loves. Not sure about everyone else but this new earth year started off rocky! Still, it doesn't set the tone for the rest of 2022! How many of you can feel that this is your year? I sure can!

Today we'll talk about closure. Even though we want it sometimes, we simply don't need it. Many times, because we act based on our feelings instead of logic, we use closure as an excuse to find reasons as to why something happened so we can go back or forgive. So, if this has ever been you, this blog post is for you.

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What is closure ?

Closure is "an act or process of closing something, especially an institution, thoroughfare, or frontier, or of being closed."

Oftentimes, when a relationship ends, no matter how it ends, we look for closure. We give ourselves the excuse, that in order to properly move on, we deserve closure from that relationship. What that closure usually looks like is us asking the other person a lot of questions that are "Why's?". Questions like "Why would you do this me? Why are you doing this? Why would you do that to me? Why would you hurt me like that? Why wasn't I enough for you? Why couldn't you just talk to me?"

I'll tell you now, the reason why, is because people are who they are. You can not stop people from being who they truly are. No matter how much you love them, no matter how much it hurts you to see who they really are.

You can not love someone into being the person that you want them to be. No amount of love, care or support that you give someone will make up for their lack of reciprocation. Your fortitude during a breakup will be the only thing that sees you through. When you acquire that strength, you began to gain understanding. The understanding allows you to clearly accept that the "Why" does not matter.

The "why" does not matter because, rather they did it with the intent of hurting you or with the intent of their own personal gain, they did it. They did it, and it hurt you whether they intended to or not. They did it, and thought nothing of you. They did it. Whatever audacious actions took place, you can not go back and change anything about what someone else did.

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Asking why changes nothing.

Stop asking why because not only are you looking for answers you will not receive, why something happened or why someone hurt you like they did simply does not fucking matter. Whats done is done. As much as it hurts, if you truly want better moving forward, you have to accept it.

Asking why does not help your closure. It gives opportunity for excuses from both parties. Closure is a trap. Closure, allows you to come up with reasons to see, and reconnect with your past. Closure, only opens up wounds that weren't nearly done healing. Closure, is bullshit.

So, yes you may want it, because your feelings are still there and something in you is holding on to any small piece of hope that things can be turned around, but you don't need it. They did what they did.

Now, you accept what is and move forward.

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Move forward understanding that the journey will not be easy. It will however, be worth it. I promise. Even in the moments where you experience a feeling of lassitude after it seems you've been struggling through this breakup emotionally and mentally, keep going, do not stop in hell.

Your mindset is now in need of change, the good change. It is now time to transform yourself beginning inward. Innerstanding yourself allows you to make the correct decisions moving forward that will never allow you to be put in a position like before.

We're no longer asking why..we aren't wondering why either. We are now asking ourselves whats next? In a sense of , moving forward in a positive way because this is what will help us. Self-love & self-care will save you every single time. Now, instead of focusing on your hurt, focus on your healing. Keep yourself busy, stay productive. Make sure that the productivity is positive and goes towards your goals & dreams.

Allow yourself to feel your emotions but do not allow yourself to soak in the depths of your sorrow & remain there. Do not get comfortable in your pain. Feel your emotions and release them into the universe. Then, get to moving. Remember that time waits for no one. Not even you.

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With all of my love,

Yanni Jay

-xoxoxo