Search Within

Before getting into a relationship, it is crucial that we do the work needed in order to become healed and whole. Sometimes, when looking for someone, people look for the person that acquires characteristics and morals that they lack within themselves. Which, is not healthy.

Make sure that you obtain the things you look for in someone else. When it comes to love and happiness, that is nobody's obligation but your own. If you're wondering why, than this blog is for you.

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Making sure to cosset to your self-care needs can aid in preventing disappointment. A part of self-care is knowing that true happiness comes from within you. So, if you are single and looking for a relationship because you are "unhappy" you're doing it wrong.

If you find a relationship based on loneliness, the moment that person decides they no longer want the relationship and leaves, the transient happiness that came with them will be gone too. You'll be left to deal with the issues within once again, with an overwhelming forlorn feeling.

While some do in fact hope for relationships that add to their happiness, longing for a partner that obtains similar positive attributes, there are others who simply crave a love they do not give themselves.

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Though breakups are hard either way, making sure that you do not leave your happiness in the hands of others will be a pivotal key in the way you heal. If you lacked happiness without the person, you were never going to acquire it with them.

Now, if you go into a relationship with the understanding that you hold your happiness within, whether or not you and that person are together, then if things end you may not feel so broken. Simply being grateful for the experience, good or bad. Because, lessons.

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It works the same with love. You have to love yourself in a way that shows others how you should be loved. This can be done in the way you carry yourself, in the boundaries you set, and in the self-care you prioritize.

Set standards not just for others, but for yourself. Be mindful of the way you handle yourself and remain aware of what you allow from yourself.

For example, a way that I pulled myself from depressive moods, was constantly setting standards for my well-being and reciting that "I will not tolerate indolent behavior from myself". Anytime you feel like you've hit rock bottom the only way to go from there is up.

So, If you are not giving yourself good loving and can not find happiness unless you are in a relationship, search within, you have more work to do. You can not find it outward if you do not acquire it inward.

With all of my love,

Yanni Jay

-xoxoxo